A Change in Testicular Condition

With such a bold title as the above, this opening sentence may well come as a disappointment. It acts merely as an introduction to the following article, while not adding anything of real relevance or interest. The reason for this is that up until rather recently, I have considered myself to be rather lacking balls, at least in terms of music taste.

I've been more about the gentle curves of melody and aesthetically blended harmonies as composed and performed by skinny and, lets face it, more than likely geeks, who feel more at home hunched over a laptop or awkwardly held nipple-high guitar than on their knees grinding their lower vertebrae and teeth into one another whilst strumming the fuck outta some guitar and extorting a wailing, primal and probably sexual sound from the pile of amplifiers out back.

That's not to say I haven't listened to upbeat music, or even stuff with guitar heroes wailing in an on/off dance of sound with a shirtless and manic frontman. But it's always been more about the fancy instrumentation, and clever arrangement than the sheer rockin' out.

Thus, I arrive at a place where I feel like searching for something raw and passionate, not weighed down by tangential cerebral additions and intricately played modal counterpoint melodies. I ask a friend if I might borrow a CD entitled Penance Soiree, as recorded by The Icarus Line.
She remarks upon her figurative bollocks, claiming they are bigger and more capable of fertilizing a woman than those that reside between my legs. Duly shamed, I put on my earphones and immediately urge her to immediately imbibe between three and five Morning After Pills, as the inspired sexual explosion barely contained within me can fertilize a woman's eggs at 10 paces. At the risk of destroying any preconceived notions of my literacy and general fondness for academia, all that I have to say now is that, This Fucking Rocks. One song in and the inspired is yet to become insipid, so it it holding up well thus far. The album continues in this vein, and while not challenging my any further beyond the original explosion, remains enjoyable and opens me to a world I was yet to allow myself into. I had learnt, once more, to 'rock'.