Tuesday, December 04, 2007

When Right-On Dudes Go Bad

Let’s get this clear: as far as cunts go, Maynard James Keenan is fucked, and I bet he votes Republican. He used to do stuff like collaborate with Rage Against The Machine and Nine Inch Nails who at least pretend to be not tedious doughboys who exist solely to leech dollars off angsty teens, but now he lives on a vineyard, stars in porn flicks and calls his new band Puscifer, which Triple J tells me is pronounced “Pussy fur.” The album is called “V Is For Vagina”, and the first single was called “Cuntry Boner.” Obviously this is shit. Maynard James Keenan, hereafter Leperballs, is proud of the fact that both Target and Wal-Mart refused to stock his shitty album, which is kind of a hollow victory, because OBVIOUSLY they weren’t going to stock it. It’s like asking intelligent people to listen to prog-metal of their own free will: unreasonable and a foregone conclusion.

I’m not mad about the fact that Leperballs is living the American dream. I love it, actually.

Maynard James Keenan: The fuckedest cunt in shitty music.

7 comments:

richard said...

yr right, max. what a tool!

Angus 12mc said...

Hear hear.

Anonymous said...

i agree, but when exactly was he "right-on"?

richard said...

good point anon. i was wondering that myself. maybe max is a closet tool fan form way back. actually i remember some photo of him with long hair sporting a black tool shirt.

max said...

i don't mean right-on as in he was good. i'm talking about Right-On in the sense that some douchebag with dreadlocks would use it. like, channeling your anger and creating something beautiful? that's so right on!

tim said...

the whole puscifer thing just reeks of self-loathing don't you reckon? this man hates himself and his fans..

matt said...

i've never been a fan of his stuff, but i think it sounds kinda funny...