"I'm so damn tired, sick of having open eyes."
I can see Chris' [Alps] bothered beautiful face pushed up against the window of a dumb old bus, like smoke over a water damaged picture the tape hiss regulates Chris' vocal, I can watch Chris sit alone at his own shows and I can watch him waiting for hours for planes and buses and trains and rides, and I can watch him holding onto the steering wheel like he finally caught life and we go soaring like mysterious bastards through small towns hoping no cops catch us and ask for Chris' license and I can see Chris wanting to be alone. and when I listen to this song i remember crowds talking over Chris, sound techs ignoring him, the soft light in my living room where Chris said "I don't believe in love anymore" and then I want to be alone too.
After I came back from touring Sydney all I listened to was this, I remember in the week i got back everybody was inviting me to dumb stuff and I went and I sat usually someplace where nobody was looking for me and listened to this and I thought about Chris and I thought about all that scrounging for a place to stay and I thought about how Chris was my brother for sure and I thought about staring at Richard's wall, it had a strange confusing quality about it, it made me feel nostalgic for something, and Chris was standing outside waiting to leave and the Dead Kennedys were playing, but I wanted me and Chris to steal a car and go off like invincible Samurais from a Wu-Tang Clan song and just tour forever.
If you have ever been tired and you have tried still to make your life mean something, then this song should mean something to you. This song means loneliness, lost like a dumb kid in a universe that is too big for anybody to want.
[Alps of New South Wales Myspace]
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